In the phone call, Su Chiyuan's breath sounded slightly unstable. However, his greeting still accurately conveyed his concern. "Are you okay?"
"I... Do you know who I am?" Gu Pan was curious to find out if the person on the other end had figured out his identity.
"Gu, right? Uh... Hold on, let me get in the car." Su Chiyuan threw a large bag of recently purchased items from a department store into the trunk, then entered the driver's seat. "Sorry, I've been walking the whole time, so the call quality was poor. Is it better now?"
"I'm doing fine." Gu Pan noticed that Mr. Suchiyuan's voice, coming through the receiver, was different from their conversation in the "Mind Oxygen Bar" the previous day. It seemed to have diminished the sense of distance even more than when they were face to face.
"Did you have trouble sleeping again last night?" Mr. Suchiyuan settled into his seat before delving into the main topic. His attitude was particularly serious. The leather seat beneath him seemed to create a more professional atmosphere than the consultation studio in his workplace.
"Yes, I kept tossing and turning, unable to fall asleep, for a longer duration than any previous episode."
"What about your previous method? Changing the environment and then coming back to bed. Why didn't it work this time?"
"I changed my entire surroundings."
"What do you mean?"
"I went back to hometown."
"Oh... Did you manage to fall asleep later? What time?"
"Probably around four in the morning." Gu Pan remembered feeling guilty in that difficult moment before falling asleep, knowing that he had bothered Mr. Suchiyuan.
"I'm sorry, I couldn't help you." Mr. Suchiyuan once again opened Gu Pan's distress message: Can't sleep, it's so painful! What should I do?
"I should be the one apologizing. Fortunately, I didn't wake you up."
"... " After hearing Gu Pan's words, Su Chiyuan remained silent. He felt that their polite and courteous conversation over the phone was ineffective and trivial. It felt unfamiliar to him, but he didn't resist it.
"Hello? Mr. Su..."
"Oh, I'm listening. I was just thinking, why don't you try again tonight? If you still have trouble falling asleep, I can try remote hypnosis. Would you be okay with that?"
"Okay. Do I need to prepare anything in advance?" Gu Pan clung to this lifeline-like opportunity. After all, after revisiting the old familiar places, everything he saw, heard and thought was likely to stir his brain nerves in the middle of the night.
"Let's not assume anything for now. Deal with things as they happen. Excessive psychological suggestions can make the situation worse. In simple terms, what you worry about will control you."
However, that night, Gu Pan was once again controlled. But he didn't bother Su Chiyuan..
In the following days, Su Chiyuan would call or text every day to inquire about the situation. The responses he received were always along the lines of "much better" or "it's fine." Gu Pan wanted to bear it on his own strength. However, his symptoms were worsening day by day.
One morning, with eyes that had barely slept all night and were almost dazed, he walked towards the railing-less stone bridge. As he got closer, he felt the monsters lurking on the slope under the bridge and in the trees along the bank. They used every trick to lure him, turning the turbulent river surface into a smooth path before his eyes... He nearly fell into it.
"Mr. Su, I need your help!" After much consideration, Gu Pan finally sent a distress signal to Su Chiyuan as dusk fell once again.
Two days later, Gu Pan bid farewell to his parents. His explanation was that he was going on a social practice with his classmates. Li Danxia had her doubts, but she had a good hand in cards at that moment, so she didn't inquire further. She reminded her son once again about the "family motto" and confirmed that he had the contact information of the Lu family girl saved on his phone. Then she immersed herself back into the flourishing world of the card table.
The large bus drove out of the central station and turned onto the main road. Gu Xueping, leaning on his electric bike, stood on the side of the street and saw his son at the window, craning his neck and looking over. The father waved his hand and nodded. On the surface, he didn't show any signs of reluctance for his son's three-day visit during the summer break. But Gu Pan understood that this was already his father's limit of expression.
His father was always calm. There were hardly any people or things that could stir his emotions. This calmness manifested itself as a kind of openness in handling things. Some aspects of this openness, Gu Pan could understand and admire. But there were others that he couldn't comprehend. And the most confusing thing for him was how his father remained content in a marriage that existed in name only.
The most evident manifestation was that his father slept well. Gu Xueping's snoring was not as peaceful as his usual demeanor. His way of making sounds was quite unique, with rough and loud snores. When Gu Pan was little, he would always cover his ears and hide under the covers whenever he heard it. But in these past few days, whenever that sound rhythmically invaded through the window crack and struck Gu Pan's mind, all he felt was envy.
Gu Pan dozed off for a while on the bumpiest section of the national highway. When he was finally jolted awake by the window, he vaguely remembered a few blurry faces that had appeared in his dreams during the twenty minutes of sleep. They didn't speak, coming and going in between Gu Pan's restless brain cells, frolicking and playing.
That's all he could recall. Gu Pan sat up straight and stretched his neck. Taking a deep breath, he leaned back against the seat again...
Four hours later, the coach arrived in City A.
The bus terminal in this city was located in the old town area, quite far from the residential neighborhood where Gu Pan was renting. The station had undergone renovation and improvement in its facilities six months ago. However, the surrounding environment remained trapped in a state of dirtiness and disorder.
Carrying his suitcase, Gu Pan carefully avoided the unexpected phlegm stains on the ground and the remnants of squashed fruit left by moving fruit stalls. In his ears, various cries and calls resounded one after another. A middle-aged woman standing in front of a small inn noticed Gu Pan's student-like appearance. Coincidentally, a girl next to him was asking for directions, so the woman thought she had captured a pair of potential customers. She held up a cardboard sign with hourly room rates in front of them, written on horse dung paper. "Take a rest for a while, it's not expensive! We have condoms like Okamoto, Durex, and Jissbon available in the store..."
Gu Pan and the girl exchanged glances. The girl's anger surged, and she glared at the woman, gritting her teeth, "Are you out of your mind!" Gu Pan, on the other hand, let out a sigh, picked up his rolling suitcase, and hurried towards his bus stop.
He took three steps and made two, venturing into the dark night for the first time.
It was almost 8 PM, and if he hadn't made the quick decision to return to A two days ago, Gu Pan would have already finished dinner and been engaged in another battle with insomnia under the clear night sky of the small town. But this time, he was decisive. He acted out of fear.
The electronic signboard at the bus station displayed that the bus Gu Pan was waiting for would arrive in ten minutes. With nothing else to do, he stood by the busy street, lost in thought. In just three days, he had swiftly passed through his hometown, compressing the most puzzling moments of his childhood and teenage years into a few dozen hours of old movies. The scenes had turned yellow, and that was precisely what created their captivating texture. The audio, nurtured by time, had been nibbled by small insects, leaving behind scattered spots, yet it was the indistinct and mysterious quality that generated tension. It played with Gu Pan's eardrums like the ebb and flow of the tide... He wanted to break free.
Gu Pan shook his head, attempting to gather his thoughts quickly.
There were three minutes left until the bus arrived at the station. Suddenly, not far behind Gu Pan, there were two car horn honks. They were controlled, quick taps, as if the driver was afraid of causing a disturbance. Initially, Gu Pan didn't pay much attention, assuming it was just a reminder from a vehicle encountering an obstruction on the road. But the sound was too persistent, forcing him to turn his head and take notice. Out of the corner of his eye, the road behind him was clearly open and unobstructed. He began to speculate if this had something to do with him.
He turned around slowly, and the car's headlights seemed to respond to his movement, flickering on and off. Then, he saw the driver's window roll down, and a person with gold-rimmed glasses poking their head out. "Hey, don't wait for the bus! Come over here, get in the car!"