Ling Hanlu slumped over her desk and drifted into sleep.
It wasn't the warmth of the afternoon that lulled her. After lunch, she was reviewing the sections Fang Yucheng had suggested revising from the day before. Suddenly, she felt short of breath and a tightening in her chest.
Damn tightness! She was nearing the edge of frustration with this unpredictable discomfort that could strike at any moment. Yet, her recent medical checkup had shown no issues!
As she always did when feeling unwell, she paused her work and adjusted to a more comfortable position, waiting for the symptoms to ease.
In this manner, Ling Hanlu nodded off at her desk. When she woke, it was already 2 p.m. on a Saturday afternoon.
She hurriedly tidied up her appearance.
Ling Hanlu glanced at the sun outside and applied a symbolic layer of sunscreen. It was merely symbolic because the product had long exceeded its prime. A thin layer on her face provided some psychological comfort.
Her hair was tied back in a ponytail. She remembered the last time she had styled it this way was when she coincidentally met Gu Pan and Lu Yitong at the coffee shop. She was struck by the younger girl's audacious demeanor, which left a curious impression on her. Months later, that girl accompanied Gu Pan again to her classroom, adding another layer of speculation to her initial impression. Such inner turmoil was once unimaginable for her in the past.
Before leaving, Ling Hanlu deliberated among several pairs of shoes in the shoe cabinet. She chose a pair suitable for shopping. The mall she aimed for was lively and bustling today, a festival exclusive to children.
2
Outside the ground floor, there hung an advertisement for the latest batch of internet celebrities endorsing lipstick. The male star sported the currently popular "puppy eyes," a term that, at first blush, could be perceived as disrespectful and evoke thoughts of human-animal relations, as Ling Hanlu had overheard from a conversation between two female students.
One of them mentioned how her current boyfriend had won her heart with his innocent "puppy eyes." This was a topic that Ling Hanlu had never been interested in before, but this time she immediately searched the keywords. The multitude of images that popped up gave her a preliminary impression of this animal-named human facial feature.
It also led her to a definitive conclusion: puppy eyes were not as attractive as Gu Pan's eyes.
She entered the mall. A complex, layered industrial fragrance drew her attention. It was the perennial scent of a famous beauty and cosmetics supermarket.
Saleswomen and salesmen, all made up meticulously, warmly greeted passersby at the store entrance and inside.
Although she had visited the mall many times before, Ling Hanlu rarely ventured into shops adorned by men and women, powdered and arranged in such sweet and fragrant manners. The wide array of beauty and skincare products, she had once joined the bandwagon of online shopping out of curiosity over two years ago when emotionally unstable due to a sudden change in her life. She attempted to use "a change of appearance" to combat the drastic changes in her life. However, she later realized these superficial measures were ineffective. In addition, for her, these items were not available in appropriate circumstances, and the tactics were also too stringent. More importantly, if a person does not have a mindset of beautifying themselves, not enough to enjoy them, it Instead they even if Was they Contains Did.
Over the course of two years, those small tubes and bottles gradually turned into expired products. Meanwhile, Ling Hanlu, amidst the fleeting prime of womanhood, found herself once again anticipating a bloom.
Ling Hanlu merely paused. Yet, for a woman to stand outside and gaze, to the salespeople, it signaled a desire to beautify oneself. She inadvertently locked eyes with a young saleswoman. The girl blinked her large, long-lashed eyes, their unusual hue drawing a smile from Ling Hanlu. The girl nodded respectfully and extended her hand in invitation. Ling Hanlu stepped inside, taking exploratory steps into this place rumored to work miracles.
Strolling through the room filled with fragrance, Ling Hanlu was overwhelmed by the array of bottles and jars. Sensing the potential customer's confusion, the salesperson discreetly assessed her before approaching. After a professional scrutiny, she stepped forward to guide her.
"Ma'am, we have a special promotion on our anti-aging and rejuvenating series today. May I recommend a few products for you?"
In the next few minutes, Ling Hanlu learned about her dry yet fair skin, showing early signs of aging. Following the instructions, she half-reclined in a chair, receiving on-the-spot skin care—a first-time experience for her.
Resting her eyes for a quarter-hour.
When she opened them again, she faced a "terrifying" scene reflected in the makeup mirror brought over by the salesperson.
A young boy's face appeared beside hers. His baseball cap was pulled low over his brows, and he sported a thin white T-shirt under a windbreaker, the same outfit he wore a year ago.
Ling Hanlu's cheeks flushed after the attendant's touch. She knew it wasn't a healthy glow, but embarrassment. She felt those attractive eyes behind the cap had surely glimpsed her concern about aging. How futile, superficial, and silly her battle against wrinkles must seem to a young boy!
How mortifying! Ling Hanlu leapt off the chair. She fled outside the shop under the bewildered gaze of the salesperson.
"Ms. Ling, your shirt at the back is wrinkled, it's kind of bunched up!" The boy followed closely, gently reminding her. He kept his hands in his pockets, restraining the urge to intervene directly.
"Oh." Ling Hanlu turned to straighten her shirt.
"Ms. Ling, there's a piece of candy wrapper stuck to your heel. It's purple, like Russian toffee..."
Ling Hanlu paused, lifted each heel in turn, then used the tip of her shoe to flick off the wrapper, picking it up and tossing it into a trash can. She continued on her way.
"Why didn't you just tear it off and throw it away, Ms. Ling? Seems like a bit much!"
"Not your concern."
"Hehe." Gu Pan heard more coyness than reproach in Ling Hanlu's tone, boosting his confidence. "Teacher Ling, your braid's undone. Let me help you..."
Before Gu Pan could finish, Ling Hanlu sharply turned around, swiftly reversing course. Her tousled hair swished over, catching the young man off guard, causing him to exclaim, "Ah!" They collided again upon hearing his exclamation.
Stepping back, Ling Hanlu positioned her legs apart, forming the sturdiest triangle her body could manage, maintaining balance on her own. When the young man reached out to assist, she proudly waved him off, then turned and continued down the path, hair still disheveled.
Gu Pan chuckled. To him, Ling Hanlu, typically composed, now rejecting his aid felt oddly endearing.
"Why did you run away?"
"The fragrance in the store was too overpowering. Couldn't stand it."
"Oh. So why did you refuse my help just now?"
"Well... I don't like acting out drama scenes like in idol dramas. The male lead supporting the female lead's waist, then flying and spinning in the sky. Isn't it ridiculous? Childish, isn't it?"
"So you don't like... you mean, you've watched them too?"
"Occasionally. Some I watch at triple speed, others at 1.5 times speed. Rarely, I watch at normal speed."
"So you're not completely against childish things after all?" Gu Pan whispered. Just then, a group of girls passed by, their laughter drowning out his muttering completely.
"What did you say?"
"Nothing! Teacher Ling, would you accompany me somewhere?"
Ling Hanlu looked up and caught Gu Pan's gaze. The childlike glint in his eyes instantly melted her heart. "...Okay."
"Great!" Gu Pan grabbed Ling Hanlu's sleeve, ignoring her slight attempt to pull away, and led her towards a toy store.
3
"Why is it so noisy?"
"It's the arcade next door, just opened." Gu Pan leaned in close to Ling Hanlu's ear. "You'll have to speak up!"
"Oh, I'll try. Can we leave soon? I can't stand the noise."
"Don't worry, I won't keep you long," Gu Pan took off his baseball cap and fanned Ling Hanlu gently. "The air isn't great here; prolonged exposure might make you dizzy."
"Alright, put it back on! I'm not that delicate. So, what do you want to play?"
Gu Pan was somewhat surprised. "Teacher Ling, I only came to take a look. Are you really going to play with me?"
"Of course, isn't today your holiday?" Ling Hanlu chuckled inwardly. A sense of inexplicable satisfaction from getting back at him made her happy.
"Oh." Gu Pan looked around. The place was full of colorful educational toys for kids. He had only planned to glance around and perhaps fulfill a childhood regret of not having enough colorful experiences. Little did he expect to be treated like a child. Seeing Ling Hanlu's sincere attitude, he reconsidered and pointed to a pile of brightly colored water pipe building blocks in the play area. "Let's play with that!"
"Okay!" Ling Hanlu lightly patted Gu Pan's shoulder as she spoke, conveying a willingness to accompany him, as if she would do anything for him.
Approaching the play area, the staff looked puzzled at the intentions of two adults who seemed well over twelve. "I'm sorry, this area is for children under twelve..."
"Oh, he's tall, but he's still a kid." Ling Hanlu's gaze softened yet remained steadfast, bolstering her determination. "I'm just here to play with the kid for a bit, thank you!" With that, she politely nudged aside the staff member's arm.
The two sat cross-legged on the foam floor. Gu Pan dismantled and rebuilt the colorful water pipe blocks with great enthusiasm.
"I just realized, these are toys meant for 4 to 6-year-olds," Ling Hanlu remarked, holding a small plastic tire in her palm, contemplating its weight.
"I know," Gu Pan replied.
Glancing at the tire, Gu Pan reached out as if to "grab" it, but Ling Hanlu closed her fingers around it, momentarily leaving him puzzled.
"Tell me honestly, are we meeting by chance again today? Like we did a year ago?" Ling Hanlu dropped her facade of confusion, revealing her lingering doubts and concerns.
"Teacher Ling, the truth is, today feels completely different from a year ago. You feel it too, right?" Gu Pan lifted his hat slightly, so he could see her better and let her see the sincerity in his eyes.
"You knew I'd be here today?" She toyed with the small plastic tire in her fingers, an absent-minded gesture as she pondered.
"Well..." Gu Pan hesitated, momentarily at a loss for words.
Ling Hanlu had several steadfast habits. One of them was visiting the mall every Children's Day if it happened to fall on a weekend. Other habits included visiting the graves of a literary couple from the Republican era on Qingming Festival and going back to her hometown to see her father on Father's Day. She didn't recall ever discussing these rituals with anyone in detail. This made her first encounter with Gu Pan last Children's Day and their subsequent "coincidence" at the train station on Father's Day seem too serendipitous, fueling her deepest reasons for resisting the boy. Even though Xu Shuping had said that ordinary people also have the right to enjoy coincidences.
"So, did you know?" she pressed again.
"I was just taking a chance, believing that sincerity can move mountains," he replied.
"With so many entrances, how did you know which one I'd use? With so many stores, how did you know which I'd go to?" Ling Hanlu leaned forward, almost stretching as far as she could. "Unless you're some kind of fortune-teller?"
"It’s actually pretty simple. Just watch the only exit. Downstairs from your place..."
"You followed me from the moment I left my house?" she interrupted.
"Yes, is there a better, more reliable way?"
"Why go to such lengths?"
"Because meeting me at the same place a year later is something you hoped for too, isn't it?" Gu Pan bit his lip after speaking, uncertain of how she would react to his confident assertion.
"It’s been a year... You’ve gotten taller, and your shoulders are so much broader!" Ling Hanlu said, trying to change the subject.
"Can we not dodge the question? Let's talk seriously." Gu Pan looked directly at her.
Ling Hanlu bowed her head in silence.
Gu Pan gently helped her to her feet. "Let’s get out of here; we’ve stayed long enough." He pried her fingers open, took the little plastic tire from her grasp, and tossed it back into the pile of colorful blocks.
---
That afternoon, they spent Gu Pan's hard-earned money from his part-time job on an animated movie. After the movie, they grabbed kids' meals at a nearby restaurant. The meals came with cartoon keychains, and Gu Pan clipped one onto the zipper of Ling Hanlu’s backpack.
"Don't take it off, okay? Keep it with you every day." Without waiting for her reply, Gu Pan took her hand and led her outside into the night.
"Are we walking back?"
"Yeah, it’s only a twenty-minute walk. Is that alright? If you get tired, I can give you a piggyback ride. Don’t worry."
"... My hand." Ling Hanlu tried to free her fingers from his firm grip.
"No." Gu Pan tightened his hold. "Don’t let go. Stay with me."
Ling Hanlu tried again to pull away, but when it didn't work, she gave up. "Gu Pan, you don’t have to hold on so tight. We've got a long walk ahead. If you keep holding my hand like this, I won’t be able to feel my fingers."
"Oh, I’m sorry!" Gu Pan immediately released his grip, realizing he might have hurt her. He held her hand gently in his palm, inspecting it with concern. "I didn’t mean to."
"Do you get nervous easily?"
"Not usually. But for you, I do."
Gu Pan moved to keep Ling Hanlu on the inside of the sidewalk. Under the streetlights, their shadows stretched out, walking side by side on the pavement. When their shadows elongated, Gu Pan purposely fell back a step to minimize their exaggerated height difference.
“You’re a bit of a tease, aren’t you?” Ling Hanlu quickened her pace, deliberately leaving him behind. “Guess I’ll just go ahead without you!”
“Wait!” Gu Pan caught up and grabbed her hand again.
“Are you a good boy at home?”
“Not really. I actually had a big argument with my mom recently...” Gu Pan realized he might have said too much, and sweat started to form on his forehead, his back, and his palms.
"With your mom… it probably wasn’t a serious issue. Give it some time, and things will smooth over. Trust me!"
"I hope so." Gu Pan fell silent for a moment after speaking. He thought to himself that some things couldn’t be resolved by knowledge or experience alone—like his mother, Li Danxia’s deep-seated animosity and prejudice towards a certain group.
“Don’t worry too much; it’ll get better!” Seeing him downcast, Ling Hanlu lifted his arm and made a fist, cheering him on with a playful punch into the air. “Go...”
Before Ling Hanlu could finish her cheer, Gu Pan pulled her into a gentle embrace.
Ling Hanlu patted his back lightly. Just a soft pat. She herself couldn’t fully understand the intention behind this clearly tender gesture.
"Don't move, Teacher Ling, don't move, okay?"
They stood at the very alleyway where, last year on the first snowy night, Lu Yitong had bravely fought off a thug. That night, Miss Lu had pretended to be weak but ended up beating the robber so badly that he left with a face full of bruises, his screams and shouts still echoing in Gu Pan’s memory. Remembering the scene at this exact spot, Gu Pan couldn't help but smile to himself. He imagined, if Ling Hanlu resisted and fought back like Lu Yitong, would he run away with his tail between his legs? Or just embrace his fate and stay?
He waited for Ling Hanlu to react. However, she stood there as if she had fallen asleep—silent, not uttering a word, content to stay nestled in his gentle and broad embrace.