Chapter 37

  “Xin Yuan" just released a new video and responded to PP's comment from a few days ago.

  Gu Pan had set up alerts for updates, allowing him to enjoy the new video as soon as it was released.

  Right now, he's just getting off work from the bakery, on his way home. When he received the notification, he happened to be passing by the intersection where Lu Yitong had fiercely taken down a robber during the last snowstorm.

  He couldn't wait to open it up.

  And wouldn't you know it, this time "Xin Yuan" chose snow as the theme.

  Real-life scenes. Shot at night. Distant trees, remnants of snow. Footprints on the path were sparse, like scattered worries. The snow shadows were delicate, accompanied by the sound of footsteps in the snow. Even though no one was in sight, the atmosphere lingered.

  The shot was from an overhead angle, with a cold and solitary color tone. A figure outside the frame seemed to lean against the window, lost in thought over past sorrows and new grievances...

  As for the so-called luxurious and romantic scenes that PP mentioned, asking if they were women's ideal life scenarios, "Xin Yuan" replied: It's not wrong to pursue top-notch enjoyment, but it must be done in moderation.

  Gu Pan kept mulling over these words, as the clear and cold face of the woman in the video appeared vividly before him.

  He couldn't help but feel a sense of respect, learning a thing or two from this experience!

  Sorry about that. Let's make it more human and engaging:

  On the living room wall hung a solitary sheet of paper, adorned with nothing but a series of Arabic numerals, its remaining stack dwindling by the day. As Gu Pan stepped into the room, he couldn't resist peeling off yet another page.

  The ritual of tearing off the calendar was one Gu Yan had passed on to him. She always said that if you couldn't find another way to celebrate each day you safely made it through, just tear off another page from the calendar!

  Gu Pan counted the days, realizing that the year was swiftly coming to a close.

  His relationship with Ling Hanlu had started one April day and was now on the verge of crossing into the new year.

  As he sifted through the nighttime class schedule Ling Hanlu had sent him, he couldn't help but zoom in and out, trying to recall how he had managed to miss those classes. What tangled thoughts and inhibitions had held him back?

  Determined to catch up on a class before the new year's bell tolled, he set his mind to it.

  The outdoor lecture hall had the heating turned on.

  Looking around, among a sea of girls, there were the occasional dudes sprinkled in. Once settled into his seat, naturally, he became a lone green leaf in a garden of flowers.

  The girls, each with their unique charms, gathered around him. Some emitted a warm, sweet perfume, amplified by the toasty air. Whiffs of fragrance teased his nose, for better or worse, he couldn't share his feelings with other green leaves. He had to focus on the people and things worth his attention, gathering strength to face any challenges.

  Last time he was here, Gu Pan recalled Ling Hanlu was wearing a long skirt. It was too far to catch a scent, but the flowers on her skirt exuded a fragrant hue. It wasn't just a visual delight; it tantalized his other senses too.

  Even in winter garb, Ling Hanlu appeared slender. Upon entering, she shed her long cotton coat, using the chair back as an impromptu coat hanger. Clad in her snug camel-colored sweater, jeans, and Martin boots, she paced as she lectured. Passing through the projector's blue light, from Gu Pan's perspective, she remained the youthful but not-so-intimidating Hobbit woman.

  Ling Hanlu delved into Keats, Austen, and the Brontë sisters. Gu Pan snapped photos of the visually rich slides with his phone. A girl beside him was focused on grooming her eyebrows, and upon noticing him, she immediately gave him a thumbs-up in admiration. Yet, Gu Pan felt a twinge of loneliness.

  As if compensating, he turned the camera toward the woman at the podium, who lectured with effortless grace. Devoutly following her every move.

  In Gu Pan's grasp, Ling Hanlu felt as if she were a fish confined in a small space. He watched as the color drained from her face, turning from pale to green in quick succession. Suddenly, Ling Hanlu's steps faltered, freezing her in place under the blue light. With a sense of urgency, she reached out to grip the edge of the lectern, fearing she might collapse if she let go.

  The classroom plunged into immediate silence, prompting several students lost in their own thoughts to glance up.

  Everyone sensed that something was wrong.

  Feeling the tension, Gu Pan rose to his feet. He hurried down the aisle, his footsteps resonating on the stairs. Just then, the bell rang, injecting a surge of energy into the figure on stage. Ling Hanlu struggled to regain her balance, hastily grabbing her coat amidst a chorus of whispers, and departed amid bewildered murmurs.

  As Ling Hanlu exited through the front door of the classroom, she walked in the opposite direction of the dispersing students, stumbling along the wall. Gu Pan caught up, extending his hand to support her just as she collapsed.

  "It's me!"

  Before recognizing the voice, Ling Hanlu instinctively leaned against him. Breathing heavily, sweat beads formed on her forehead. "It's you!" When she finally saw the face of the person offering support, she surrendered completely.

  In the safety corridor of the teaching building.

  "Hold up, don't plop down just yet!" Gu Pan caught Ling Hanlu about to perch on the steps and swiftly fluffed up the small backpack for her.

  "Thanks!" Ling Hanlu gasped, "The elevator on this side is busted... And now you're stuck trudging up the stairs with me. I apologize for the inconvenience!"

  "No rush to head back. You take a breather first... um, is there anything I can do for you? I've got chocolate in my bag, fancy a nibble? It might give you a boost if you're feeling a bit low on sugar." Gu Pan gestured to the bag beneath Ling Hanlu's rear end, "You're sitting on it..."

  "No need. My blood sugar's just fine. Just had a check-up recently, and everything's tip-top." Ling Hanlu offered a determined smile, trying to soothe the young lad's emotional well-being.

  "Well, looks like I'm out of options." Gu Pan stood by the steps, his two big, round eyes glowing innocently in the dim light.

  "Keep me company for a bit!" Ling Hanlu patted the steps.

  "You got it!" Gu Pan scampered over to sit beside Ling Hanlu, as if it were the grandest gift bestowed upon him.

  But then, it felt like an eternity passed in silence, with neither of them saying a word for what seemed like ages. The staircase was narrow, and with both of them snugly seated side by side in their winter coats, they practically occupied the steps from end to end. Once they were settled, it was as if their tongues had been tied, leaving them in a wordless void.

  Ling Hanlu stole a sideways glance at the young lad. He sat there, spine erect, exuding a demeanor akin to that of a disciplined soldier in the absence of command. His internal turmoil seemed to weigh heavily upon him, his lips sealed as tight as a drum, as if the slightest parting would release a sigh and resurrect the already fading "shady" impression. His self-reproach seemed to permeate every fiber of his being, rendering him tense and unable to unwind.

  This stirred something within Ling Hanlu. She broke the silence: "Hey... do you always carry chocolate with you? Do guys like having snacks handy too?"

  "Huh? Oh, no, it's someone else who left it in my bag. I only discovered it while I was in class today." The "someone" Gu Pan mentioned was none other than Lu Yitong. He had stumbled upon the same heart-shaped chocolate delicately stashed by Miss Lu in various bags he used day in and day out.

  "Hehe, suddenly got a craving. C'mon, bring it out for me! Might help with the dizziness and tightness in the chest." Ling Hanlu shifted slightly, offering Gu Pan a faint smile.

  "Really?" The boy's eyes lit up with surprise.

  "The packaging is so elegant!" Ling Hanlu admired the chocolate nestled in her palm, encased in a shimmering metallic shell. "Almost feels like a shame to open it."

  "I'll unwrap it for you! Saving lives takes priority!" Gu Pan took back the chocolate, deftly removing the wrapping before handing it back to Ling Hanlu.

  This gal, she’s got a soft spot for bright hues and adorable designs, just like a bunch of young gals out there. Gu Pan was taken aback by this revelation. And let me tell ya, this surprise had a rosy tint to it, painting Ling Hanlu in a whole new light. Ain't it something how a woman only lets her guard down like that around someone she feels safe with? Gu Pan had to rein in his amusement, keeping it under wraps like a tightly sealed jar.

  Ling Hanlu put in a “request” for two more chocolates, munching on 'em nice and slow while Gu Pan kept a close eye on her. You could almost taste a hint of sweetness lingering in the air of this school's stairwell.

  But dang it, there weren't no windows in this dang fire escape corridor to let in a breath of fresh air. After a bit, Ling Hanlu started feeling all outta breath again.

  "Let's skedaddle!"

  It took them a good twenty minutes to amble from the teaching building nestled in the outer courtyard to the Green Garden Community.

  Gu Pan gallantly positioned himself on the side closer to the road, shielding Ling Hanlu from any potential hazards. Along the way, they encountered stretches where the ground sloped downward, accentuating the contrast in their heights as they strolled side by side under the cover of night.

  "Are your parents tall?" Ling Hanlu turned her face towards him, her gaze sizing him up.

  "Huh?" Gu Pan was taken aback. After the "sofa incident," he hadn't expected to delve into family matters. It was an unexpected turn of events, catching him off guard. "Um... my dad's on the taller side."

  "What do your folks do for a living?"

  "My dad's employed at a company. Mom manages rentals, runs a mahjong parlor, and dabbles in lottery tickets..."

  "Lottery tickets? Did I hear that correctly?" Ling Hanlu's eyes widened, reflecting the glint of excitement akin to a nocturnal feline.

  "Yeah, you heard right. Mom believes she's had a lucky streak lately, so buying lottery tickets is her litmus test."

  "And what's the verdict?"

  "Once she started, she couldn't quit. It became a way of life."

  "Heh, the power of belief. Can't underestimate it, can you?"

  "It's more like an obsession." Gu Pan turned to glance at Ling Hanlu for a brief moment, his gaze skimming her profile, venturing beyond her line of sight.

  "HMm." Ling Hanlu nodded pensively, withholding any definitive judgment.

  Gu Pan wasn't entirely sure if Ling Hanlu fully grasped his meaning. Nonetheless, he felt that the term "obsession" he had mentioned was beyond her comprehension.

  As they walked side by side, Gu Pan couldn't help but notice the stark contrast in their heights. Their silhouettes created a tranquil and harmonious scene on the pavement, which Gu Pan found oddly pleasing. Would this picturesque moment appear as fantastical to Li Danxia? The bizarre and unsettling "family motto" of his mother suddenly loomed over Gu Pan's thoughts like a dark cloud.

  "Tell me about your school," Ling Hanlu sensed a shift in Gu Pan's demeanor with his sudden silence. To her, these fluctuations were just another facet of youthful adolescence, nothing out of the ordinary.

  "Where should I begin?" Gu Pan struggled to piece together the chaotic events of the past year, most of which had occurred outside of school. The mundane routine of school life seemed distant and disjointed to him now. "You've posed quite the challenging question."

  "Hehe, my bad, I didn't phrase it well," Ling Hanlu chuckled softly, having overcome the discomfort of her illness. Her tone and pace lightened noticeably. "So, does studying tourism align with your future career aspirations?"

  "I didn't have any aspirations when I applied for college. Don't laugh, but I chose this major simply because the word 'tourism' excited me..."

  "Your method of selection is rather romantic!"

  "Is that a polite way of saying I'm naive?"

  "It's called youthful enthusiasm. And you're fortunate to have a relaxed and open-minded family environment."

  "I had the freedom to make my own decisions because, at the time, my mom was preoccupied with testing her luck and had no time to intervene. And of course, Dad is open-minded, that's undeniable."

  "Do you enjoy studying tourism?"

  "Not initially, but I'm gradually warming up to it."

  "Any other hobbies besides studying?"

  "I joined the school's mountaineering club, although it's been more theoretical than practical so far. And I've started working on bulking up over the summer..." Gu Pan paused abruptly, feeling a flush of embarrassment. He couldn't bear to confront the swirling thoughts racing through his mind on the verdant green lawn.

  "A real man should take care of his physique. Consistency is key!" Ling Hanlu encouraged him with a supportive smile.

  When the topic of physicality arose, she felt a sudden rush of warmth to her cheeks. Her mind conjured the image of her best friend, Xu Shuping, tending to Liang Chen in a dim, cramped room. They were mere inches apart, with Liang Chen's upper body exposed...

  Although she hadn't witnessed the scene firsthand, Xu Shuping's animated retelling painted a vivid picture. Despite Ling Hanlu's outward composure, she harbored a deep affinity for the intricate and profound aspects of their enduring friendship.

  Days later, the empathy she felt that night still caused her cheeks to burn.

  Thankfully, the darkness of night concealed her inner turmoil.

  As they walked and talked, they eventually reached Ling Hanlu's home. They exchanged farewells by the bushes, once mistaken for a sculpture.

  Gu Pan didn't accompany her further. He lacked the confidence to step onto that floor, or even approach the door he had knocked on during summer vacation.

  The journey home alone, however, filled him with a sense of contentment. Ling Hanlu had listened attentively to his mundane tales, sharing in the ordinary moments of his nineteen-year life. He recalled her occasional glances, her face blurred by the dim streetlights. Yet, in those fleeting gazes, he found a comforting encouragement.

  Gu Pan was grateful for the unprecedented honesty of that night. It was a rare instance of complete openness. Apart from the aspects of his life illuminated by Ling Hanlu's wisdom and knowledge, and the unmentioned blue soft-cover notebook, he had bared it all.

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